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Well guys, today is a snow day but my understanding is not in Australia. I am posting Michelle Jenneke cause… why not? I have no reason I can really think of, I almost forgot to post today. I am suddenly pretty checked out on tumblr. No clue why. Anyway, I saw a picture of her and it looked sunny and nice and somehow I have only posted her once. I really could have sworn it was more than that but it turns out it isn’t. So today I want to fuck Michelle Jenneke.

So Charli XCX was at an event this weekend and I think she looked very good. In some ways i miss her hair when it was just long and semi untamed cause she has very good hair but I am really enjoying the splash of red in her shorter cut right now and she has looked pretty good on the red carpet recently. So I am excited to post her but there is really an even more appropriate reason to post her and that is my dear friend Katherine. Everyone knows how much I like Charli XCX if they follow this blog, she’s probably my favorite. But I like my friend Katherine way more. Usually this is when I link to the person’s tumblr and talk about how tumblr made our friendship but it didn’t. She doesn’t have one. She’s just the only person who knows I have this blog that isn’t on tumblr and she turns out to be a powerful metaphor for what people are losing with tumblr. That’s a safe space. Katherine knows cause I trust her and she is kind and non judgy and could see the good in my blog and past the name I suppose. And even if she didn’t get why someone would create this blog at the outset she understand that I needed some outlet. People had that with tumblr and even if their blog isn’t going to be deleted and directly impacted I think a lot of people feel that they have lost their safe space. A place where they could anonymously be themselves and largely not be judged. It’s what the internet should be for. I am lucky, my safe space will remain my friends, most especially my dear friend Katherine. But I am old, I have had years to create these spaces in my lives. Not everyone has the luxury of being old. Either way I am posting Charli because I am intensely attracted to her and she is just a good choice here. Cause I love her and Katherine doesn’t get it. But doesn’t make me feel like I am wrong (in part because she’s obviously wrong). I am glad to have both and I am glad I had this tumblr. Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

So I can’t remember how I started following everyone on tumblr but I remember how I came to follow my dear sweet @thunderstormofoblivion. Once upon a time I used to look at the blog of every single person who followed me. That lasted about… 2 years maybe. Gaining followers is self catalyzing because the more you have the more reblogs you get and the more visible your stuff becomes. Plus so many are just blank it became pointless. But I have always noticed when the same person keeps reblogging my stuff. And I really notice when it’s a celebrity I like who gets no attention. Nicki Minaj (who in theory this post is about but isn’t going to get most of the ink here, sorry. She’s hot, I tend to like her, the current drama surrounding her is tiresome though) is one of the few people I have posted who gets shitty remarks either in the reblogs or via anon (on my second blog btw, which is a lot of effort to be a coward). I have danced around this before but let’s be honest, it’s some combination of misogyny and racism that does it. Anyway, I noticed that @thunderstormofoblivion kept reblogging her and so I wanted to check out her blog and i liked it. She seemed pretty sharp. I mean, obviously, she was following me, she must be a person of taste. So eventually I followed her and then sent her an ask with one of those lists of asks because I always do when I see them. It’s a real crime the don’t pop up much these days and even worse people don’t seem to get a lot of asks in response. They’re fun. Anyway, it turns out my first instinct was right, she was fantastic. Easily my favorite Romanian. I know that’s a low bar because I only know Dracula otherwise and everyone knows that guys sucks but I am willing to say my favorite Eastern European. And I know like 8 people whose last name ends in ski. Top in an entire region. It really is impressive. Our friendship is strong so I have faith in it post tumblr but I will still be sad if tumblr tears this kind of thing asunder for people. Sometimes people just want to commiserate together on how hot Nicki Minaj and Blake Lively are and how good I’d look in a leopard print coat. I’m not doing that shit on facebook, I can tell you that much. Today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.

Here is Ellie Rowsell who I am posting so I can mention my good friend @wildflagsure who already hasn’t been around much as late because being Greek she had to go on 12 labors. It’s really hard these days because Europe doesn’t even have Lions anymore. Anyway, she quite likes Ellie so that’s a good match. As a friend I assume because they are both girls so what more could it be? I don’t even know how that works. I wish there was a website where a curious person could look but oh well, there aren’t anymore. Antigone, or Mrs. John Cena as her friends call her, first came into my orbit because she was excited I posted Vanessa Bayer. And I was excited because she was the first person to give a fuck that I posted Vanessa Bayer. That might not sound like a big thing but I had a friendship at 5 years old founded on a mutual love of orange soda so lust for Vanessa Bayer seems like at least as solid a foundation. Antigone is a musician and loves music and it’s where a lot of our friendship came from and so Ellie just feels right. Also, Ellie Rowsell is just smoking hot. Today I want to fuck Ellie Rowsell.  

If ya’ll haven’t noticed, there’s a bit of a theme developing this week. It didn’t start that way but it’ll end that way. Today I am posting Michelle Trachtenberg in honor of @femalecelebrityoftheday. Why? Cause he’s another friend I value from this place. Remember yesterday when I mentioned every friendship is different? This is a good example. He has great taste in movies and lives in Scotland and I don’t know his real name but given the facts I have I assume he spends all his time fighting lake monsters, eating haggis, and watching Star Trek. You might wonder how I figured this out but I promise you it’s actually very simple. I’m an asshole American which allows me to boil down all other nationalities to a couple of stereotypes so I only kind of have to consider them people. You’re welcome, now go drink your Irn Bru and play your bagpipes. You’re welcome, I managed like 5 things. I usually stop at 3. Anyway, he tends to have pretty good taste and is one of the few people who understands what it is like to run a blog like this. His is different of course but enough the same that he knows. We attract some weirdos who are mildly offended when we aren’t as weird as them. We get some people who never figure it out. He’s a good guy though and I know he’s sticking around. But wishing so many people probably weren’t heading for the exit. Michelle Trachenberg is the celebrity I associate most with him because, and i didn’t check but my memory is flawless, he posted her every other day for the first 22 years he ran his blog. I think she got passed by like Emma Roberts or Nessy since then but I still think of her as his girl. And well, I have never disagreed that she cleans up pretty nice. Today I want to fuck Michelle Trachenberg.

Hey guys, I am posting Barbara Palvin today because my dear friend @she-goes-to-eleven (who tumblr won’t even let me properly tag anymore) is basically done with tumblr. I don’t blame her. I am not sure I want to deal with the frustration of fighting with Tumblr’s bots either and the more details that come out about this the grosser it gets. Verizon wants to know how to commodify black lives matter? Great, no thanks, sorry. Anyway, this is feeling like a swan song this week but it’s my blog so I have decided it’s a victory lap. The reason Kat is getting mentioned is cause she is my friend and we are very close. I have made a few close friends on tumblr and each friendship is unique, which is part of why a platform self destructing can be so sad, you are never sure if an online friendship is portable. Often they are not. It would be sad to lose that because people have more than one friend (I hope. Verizon probably doesn’t. Who would be friends with them?) but each friendship is unique. You aren’t sad about losing a friend because you’re out of friends, you’re sad cause you’re losing that unique bond. Without Kat I will need to find someone new to sexually harass me and tell me how smart and funny I am. Lesbians like that don’t grow on trees. Because lesbians are people, you assholes, they’re born like the rest of us. Anyway, I met Kat when she reached out to me about… something. Probably cute boys I guess? That would make sense, she is a girl so it could only be that or shopping. She has been hurt by this because of course as a member of the LGBT community a lot of this is a betrayal. She was just a young lesbian with nothing but a vagina and a dream when I met her. And that dream was to look at pictures of naked ladies largely. Dream won. Now, I know people are saying you can see that elsewhere but I promise you there are not as many places as friendly to a girl who wants to look at porn out there as you think. On top of that she made friends here, like I did, and not all those friendships are portable. So I get her sense of betrayal and abandonment. I think it’s valid and the fact that my friend was hurt by this action is more than enough reason for me to tell tumblr it can go fuck itself. I am posting Barbara Palvin because in truth I could post almost any girl but she is one of Kat’s favorites. And I like her too. So it’s a win win post really. Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

What a difference a day makes, guys. I think tumblr might be dead. Self inflicted wounds. It might take a bit but this is not great. I know they won’t scrap my blog but as it stands right now about half my content will disappear. And I don’t do nudes,a  thing that people have teased me about for years. Others are going to be impacted more and I worry about some people’s livelihoods. I worry some people are losing a safe space. There was no interent when I was a kid and I have thought before about how much I wish there had been. Things were rough for me in some ways as a kid and I would have loved to find a community of people to tell me I was ok. Or at least not worthless and broken. It might seem like this is a strange reaction to porn going away but it won’t just be porn. This will harm the communities that Tumblr thrives on I am sure. And I have been thinking and I am not sure I will be sticking around to see it crumble. That’s not because I am angry about losing porn, it’s practical. Sometimes I start to post someone and halfway through I change my mind. I save those posts in drafts so at least I have some pictures put together later. The full post never makes it but sometimes I rejigger it and post it at a later date. Like all my posts those are always with people who are covered up. I have never done nudes. Of the 15 in there right now, 6 are marked as inappropriate. They are Katy Perry, Blake Lively, Darshelle Stevens, Olivia Cooke, Dani Thorne, and Aubrey Plaza. Some are showing a lot of skin. Most are wearing red carpet fashion. I am pretty sure I won’t want to deal with the frustration of having to upload pictures, find some gown is too sexy for tumblr and then reupload pictures as I try to guess Tumblrs standards. It doesn’t sound found I haven’t made a decision yet but there you go. It’s really been a long strange trip on this blog. It has introduced me to a lot of things and people and I have enjoyed it. You may not know it but one of the first girls I ever discovered because of tumblr is Pigeon Foo. And by discover I mean she messaged me and I looked at her blog and then claimed it for Spain. I don’t want to brag but people have long called me the Christopher Columbus of Tumblr. I am posting her today cause she wasn’t the first friend I made on tumblr but she was the second and she’s still around. Probably. Who knows, maybe after tomorrow she’ll never return. The nature of online friendship is often that it’s ethereal and that’s ok, losing tumblr may mean losing contact. It can be sad because endings are always sad but on the other hand they can be a chance to reflect. Foo messaging me to tell me she liked my blog all those years ago and that Sara Fabel was a good choice lead to many great experiences. I got to follow her and she showed me many a beautiful woman I might not have seen otherwise. I got to have fun interactions and watch her build her own company. Which as an aside, Tumblr hates small business. Can we make that a slogan. I mean no shit, Verizon owns them but still. Anyway, when I discovered her she was nothing but a girl with a dream. Back then she could only kill like 20 ninjas at once. Max. But her powers have grown since then. I can’t count how many ninjas she can kill at once now. Because I was always better at English and History if we’re being honest. This is all sort of rambling and doesn’t have much to do with anything but I am old and my blog is old and I wanted to say more than just Pigeon Foo is hot and looks good in pretty pictures that are largely designed to show off her hotness. It’s too tautological for my tastes. So I mentioned her ninja killing skills. Also, fun fact for people who say I always point out things about slam dunks when talking about how great they are, I know for a fact Pigeon Foo can slam dunk but chooses not to because she thinks it’s showy for a tiny model to go around dunking on people. Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

Here is Gemma Arterton who it turns out looks very pretty in pink. The British Independent Film Awards were last night and she was there and we’re all kind of winners because she looked fantastic. I mean, it’s more reward than award but I’ll take it. Today I want to fuck Gemma Arterton.

I know I just posted Dove Cameron the other day but like.. she showed up in a new photoshoot and I am only human. I mean, that shoot isn’t here but that’s for reasons involving me deciding I liked these pictures better after those pictures got me looking for what pictures of her to post. It’s a complex process here, guys. Anyway, she looks good because that’s her thing. It’s almost unsettling if I am being honest but in a good way. Like you know, the Twilight Zone or something. No, wait, that isn’t a compliment at all. Forgive me, I’m tired and my coffee machine broke this morning so I am living like an olden days settler or something but worse because it’s also cold and rainy and I assume they never had to deal with that. Today I want to fuck Dove Cameron.

So Robin Holzken did pictures for uh… I don’t know. I know Thierry Le Goues Photography took the pictures but I don’t know for what. She looks really good though. Maybe we’ll find out one day. Maybe we won’t. Life is full of uncertainty sometimes. Anyway, here she is, enjoy. I think she looks very good. Today I want to fuck Robin Holzken.